Personal Time
by webdlfan
Summary: A story set just after Personal Foul ... yes, another one, that has been playing in my head for a long time.  What if when Lindsay showed up to the stadium she had been out on a date with a new guy?  It was a great leather jacket.  Perfect for a date ...
1. Decisions

**This idea has been in my head a long time. I thought-what if Lindsay was seeing someone else and that her rain walk was her trying to make a decision between one or the other? What if she turned down the tickets to the game because she was going on a date and she didn't tell that to Danny?**

**I'm not all that into heavy angst, so I promise this isn't that ... and I think I have the whole thing written in a very rough draft. The chapters are short, and its not all that developed, but its out of my head now!**

**Begins with the last Cabbie Killer episode, right after Personal Foul ... but moves quickly along. Doesn't really spoil anything for season 5, I don't think. Maybe the first episode. And if Mac surviving surprises you... :p**

**Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_I miss you._

The words repeated themselves over and over again in Lindsay's head as she headed home, thinking about everything. She didn't have an answer when she was called into work, so she simply worked with him. He stepped in, helped her with the car. She knew he'd looked to Hawkes, knew they had some sort of silent exchange. Lindsay didn't mind. She wasn't afraid of Danny. No, not _afraid _of him.

She should tell him, and maybe she should have told him over the phone that night, it just hadn't seemed right. So she'd planned to do it before work. Over coffee.

Then there was the urgency. They weren't just after a killer anymore. They were trying to save Reid. And when Reid was safe, they went home and crashed. Then Mac had gotten caught up in the bank robbery.

Really. She needed to say something.

Mac was safe, and Danny had handled himself during the crisis. She didn't need to look after him anymore. It wasn't her job, her place. He wasn't her responsibility.

And now ... she was out of excuses.

He was at his desk when she walked in. She'd stopped by her locker, grabbed her coat and her messenger bag. She knew he would be heading home soon. Flack would grab him on the way out. She'd made sure of that.

"Hey," she said softly.

He glanced up. "Hey. You heading out?"

"Yeah. I—"

"You want to grab something to eat?"

"No." She swallowed. "Danny, I—"

She saw the look in his eyes and nearly relented. He had sensed her tone and she could tell he felt the pain.

She couldn't let that control her decision. It was the right one.

"I was thinking. The other night? I was thinking about ... not just us, but if I ... I met someone. We were out together when I was called in. That's why I had plans."

He closed his eyes, let out a self depreciating sigh.

"You have to know there's part of me that wants to give us another chance–"

"Then do it," Danny pushed up, but she held out her hand.

"He's a nice guy, Danny. Funny. And he doesn't work here. There won't be any funny weirdness in the workplace. People won't be talking behind the glass walls about me and you. People won't assume automatically that it was my fault. And I'll be able to do my job without all of this ..." she waved a hand, blinked back the tears that had started to edge out.

When he stepped forward, placed his hands on her arms, she stayed still. "Lindsay," he murmured, his blue eyes dark and serious. "I miss you."

"We have our friendship. I want that. But you don't need me."

"I do need you."

"But you _didn't_," she swallowed and stepped away from him. "I don't know if I can ever accept ... you again. But, I like this guy. I want to have this chance with him. And I'm tired, so tired, of being afraid that I'll give in to you and make the wrong mistake. Danny, Mac noticed that it effected my job. It was stupid, and I guess I was stupid."

She thought about the morning of Stella's fire, of what she knew. "I've got to go."

"Montana—"

"Don't," her eyes blazed with fire and un-shed tears. "Don't throw that at me now. You haven't said it in months. But know this Messer, if you had given me a chance to be there for you, if you had really believed in us the way I did ..."

And there was nothing, no way for her to finish the sentence. She didn't know where they would be, but she knew where they had been.

It hurt, more than anything, that they hadn't been in the same place.

And with that, she turned and walked out. Walked toward her new future.

And left the rest behind.

* * *

I've got another chapter coming soon! It will probably go up faster if you review :p

Sorry its so short. I could have waited and put all of the chapters as a one shot, and done it at once, I think. But what's the fun in that? XD


	2. Friends

I thank you guys for all the amazing reviews! It floored me and floored me enough to feel a little bad. I nearly completed the story yesterday and planned to just post what I had, and then you guys started listing all these expectations~which is great! ha ha! So it got me thinking and I've added to what I have, made some notes to put some things in because you guys wanted to see some things that didn't flow into the original draft. And your expectations added a good page to this chapter :p. You can only ... err blame yourselves since the original draft was finished and could have been updated quickly-and who knows if this will ever be! :p

Anyway, thanks for letting me know what you think. It might just formulate itself somewhere. By the way, if these characters were mine, I could have played with them all day instead of grading papers. And since they're not, and they don't belong to me ... I have just borrowed them. I worry that soon I might overrun myself in snarkiness. :p

Enjoy the agony you wanted to see... the slightly extended version.

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Chapter 2:

Danny frowned over his drink. Other people looking on, might have believed he'd had a few. The truth was, he hadn't tasted a drop.

Flack sat across from him. He leaned casually against the wall, a leg bent on the seat, stretched out and relaxed. His arm rested on his knee, the beer bottle loosely held in his fingertips. He said nothing now, though he'd tried. And despite the fact that he looked like he was winding down from a long day, Danny knew different.

He was, more than anything else, babysitting.

Danny didn't have it in him to fight it out. He was angry his friend had pushed him into coming here for a beer.

But then, he was just angry. Angry at himself, but not at Lindsay.

_...you don't need me._

_I do need you._

_But you didn't_.

He didn't need her? Hadn't he told her as much the other night?

It wasn't about needing her. He hadn't felt like he deserved her. He hadn't wanted to survive, to feel good. Maybe he hadn't thought it—but he'd avoided her more because he'd avoided her light.

And he'd hurt her. From the look in her eyes, he understood he'd hurt her more than he'd realized. Not more than he meant to. He hadn't meant to hurt her at all. He just hadn't thought about anything.

Because thinking of her was thinking of ...

_I've fallen in love with you and I've got to figure out how to let that go._

He hadn't deserved her love, but it cut into him, blinded him, and left him bleeding, because he'd been the one to cut it off.

And still, even though she'd ended it, it was not a coincidence that Flack had showed up as Danny left the building. No, he didn't deserve her.

But he did need her.

"She tell you to come find me?" he asked at last.

"Lindsay was worried about you. And yes—she told me her decision," Flack finally glanced over, the look in his eyes was unsympathetic. Flack knew Danny hadn't been thinking, and had known—even as he'd pushed back at Danny over the gun debacle—that his friend was going to do something even worse before it was over.

He just wished he'd told Lindsay to head out first. He didn't have proof that it had happen, but he didn't need it. The guilt had been there in Danny's eyes since the day of Stella's fire. Danny couldn't hide that kind of emotion.

"She's seeing someone else," Danny picked up his drink, watched the amber liquid twirl in the glass. He'd ordered something hard, something he could feel ripping out his insides on the way down.

Besides, he couldn't stomach beer. He'd found the girl he'd wanted, and sharing a pint was a simple way to end the day between the two of them; over a pizza, Chinese, a fine New York steak to go, or when they rented a bad movie.

Simple. It had been so simple. Easy, because it had been perfect. He hadn't thought too much about how perfect it was, until right before it fell apart.

He'd always assumed perfect would be complicated.

"I love her and she's seeing someone else. There's justice in that right?"

Flack lifted an eyebrow, but otherwise, he didn't move. Either he didn't believe him or he wasn't surprised.

And yet, his silence spoke volumes of loss.

"Shut up," Danny sat his glass down and pressed his fingertips into his eyes. "I was just toying around with the idea in my head. It was new. I hadn't even thought it through or even said it to myself before everything."

"And you didn't tell her?"

"How could I say anything to her when I hadn't said it to myself? We hadn't been together that long. I didn't think about it like that. It was just the way it was. And ... I didn't think about it."

"You and Monroe have been together longer than you think."

Danny shook his head. He could remember the day it had occurred to him as clear as the day Reuben ... Harder days. He pushed back those thoughts. Getting lost in them had brought him here.

"You remember when we first went after suspect X? And she'd killed the girlfriend or the online girlfriend of the kid? He said he was in love with her. He was in love with her and he didn't show up that night she was killed. He was dying."

Danny closed his eyes. "The whole conversation ... it wouldn't leave me alone. I kept thinking of the kid, of what he thought love was. I didn't realize I was comparing it to what I felt for Lindsay until she told me she loved me. Past tense. And suddenly, I was thinking about my life with her... and I couldn't imagine life without her. And I had been thinking about that for a long time. She could haven been the one in the warehouse..."

"Now that," Flack said tipping the neck of his bottle toward Danny, "was fast. You guys had only really been together as a couple since she got back from Montana."

"Give or take." Danny let out a breath, stared at his drink. "Now she'd got someone new. It's like those bad country songs she mixes in with good rock and role."

"You let your emotions control you over everything," Flack told him. "Ever wonder why you didn't let yourself that do that with Lindsay? Why you were careful with her? Why it was different with her? Why everyone in the lab and precinct knew the two of you were finished even before you screwed her over?"

_Because she mattered_.

He didn't have to say it. He could tell that's why Flack was getting at.

"I can't lose her," he stared down into his drink and then in one quick motion tossed it back, felt the slide of it gnaw at his system.

"Jess believes you can get her back, and if she thinks so much, then maybe you got a chance. But you've got to keep yourself together. Make sure you have it together. She fell for you once, she'll fall for you again."

"I don't know. Everyone seemed surprised that she fell for me the first time."

"Don't let the lab gossip get to you. You'll work it out," Flack tossed a few bills on the table. "Finish your drink, Mess. Let me get you home."

* * *

I would leave you in suspense, but I will tell you this. For me a mystery or a story isn't always about the who done it, it's more about the way they go from point a to point b, and how everything falls into place (which is probably why I get so frustrated with this show, with the characters, for so many reasons). And as a side note, it's probably why I like history so much. So, even though this isn't a mystery, it's more about filling in the blanks. I'm trying to stay in canon, and work through how my head has already sifted through the blank spaces the writers left molting. Some of the things you mentioned I'll tackle (and some are already tackled in other stories), and some I probably won't ... because the show already dealt with it. But I reserve the right to change things if my muse forces me to. But usually my muse is Cleo, the history muse, so she doesn't get into fights with me over fiction :p. (Sorry-I've been grading papers nearly all day, I have the right to be nutty).


	3. Keys

This chapter wasn't part of the original draft. It was one of the little notes I made from your comments. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews. (And the reviews have also extended this story, maybe.)

* * *

It had been a long day. The case was brutal, with more than a dozen witnesses who had seen nothing and knew very little. The evidence seemed hackneyed. It, thankfully, kept him out of the office where a bouquet of flowers had been delivered and sat on her desk. In his office.

_Their_ office, he reminded himself.

He hadn't been paying attention until he'd walked in. There they were, big exotic bold flowers. He couldn't keep the pain from his face–though he did try. He was trying to make this as easy on her as possible.

"Sorry," she said as she stood and reached to pick them up. "They were just delivered—"

"No," he waved a hand, turned to his desk. "If a girl gets flowers, she should at least enjoy them. Right?"

And think of the guy who sent them.

She'd said something similar when she'd gotten home from one of their New York walks, just to place a single rose in a vase.

He sighed. He'd never _sent _her flowers. It seemed a little odd, being that they worked together. He'd bought her flowers, every so often on the street, usually when she was with him. She would always put it in water, and put it on display in a special place. So he got the idea that they were for her to look at.

Then he looked down at his desk, found the key that he had given her laying on top of his calendar. He reached down, surprised that his fingers didn't tremble, and picked it up. He knew what it meant; that she was moving on. That they were over. That his screw-ups had cost him his _Montana._ Her trust in him.

The possibilities.

"Danny—"

He shook his head, and slowly, very slowly, sat down. He'd screwed it all up, he knew that, and maybe it was too late to talk, but he wanted to talk. He wanted to tell her that she'd been everything before. He wanted the chance to tell her that even though he didn't remember the few months around Reuben's death with absolute clarity, he knew he hadn't handled it well.

And he knew that he'd made choices that hurt her. He'd avoided conversation with her, then tried to be himself with her, like he could compartmentalize the darkness and maintain a good presence. He expected her to toe the line, to follow his lead. In one moment she was nothing, in another she was his.

How could anyone keep up?

She'd felt the darkness in him, had been hurt by it, and had been hurt again when he'd maintained a sense of innocense to it.

Focusing even the slightest on what he was doing to her would have forced him to face himself at a time when he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror. Not that he'd thought of avoidance. He hadn't thought of anything at all.

She could have understood if he had said the words before. Now ... now she was seeing someone else, so it wasn't fair to push her that way.

He took off his grandfather's dog tags and slid the key on the chain. It would lay there near his heart, because it didn't belong anywhere else. Maybe it even represented his heart. MIA, or KIA. _Lost_.

If he had the chance, when he had the chance, he would give it back to her.

He nearly said so, but when he looked up, found that she'd slipped from the office.

He stared at the flowers. He should have sent her flowers; not this showy bouquet, but something simpler, something different than the usual daisy or rose. Maybe some of those colored daisies.

It was all he could think about as he finished his shift, until he got home, opened the door to his apartment. It was different. She'd given him back his key because she'd gotten her things from his apartment.

He closed the door and leaned against it.

It couldn't have been a lot. Just a few knickknacks, books and CDs she'd left.

But it made the room seem empty.

In the depth of the quiet, he slowly slid down to the floor and stared at the big open room of his apartment. Lindsay was moving on. He'd pushed her from this one place because she hadn't belonged in the hurt.

But she had belonged there. She'd never left.

So she'd been there with him that moment he took that acid step of betrayal toward his neighbor. He'd done all of that not just to her, but to their memories and the future he'd believed in.

Slowly the image of forever that he'd had there with her faded away. He hadn't thought so much about it, but it had been there. The two of them at first, there as a family. Gone was the image of a miniature _Montana_, with big brown eyes like her mama. He hadn't even paid much attention to the fact that he'd had her there and now she was gone.

It left him cold.

Left him with nothing.

* * *

You guys and your desire for angst! Poor Danny :p We can say that now, but the Spring and Summer of 07? So this chapter is for everyone who reviewed who wanted to see Danny suffer. :p And see the suffering. Its in the other chapters but not in this dedicated way. Plus I've had this image in my head for a long time of the key she gave back to him. In my mind he either shoved it in his desk drawer or put it on the dog tags. I felt like the dog tags showed him taking responsibility of what he'd done more. So ...


	4. Words

_**So ... sorry it took me so long to get this up (since supposedly I had this thing finished before I started posting). Ahem. Partly it has been a long rough week. Partly and mostly, you people and your pitchforks forced me to sit down and write another angsty chapter to fill in the blanks before I could post. :p Just kidding. Not about the angst or the new chapter. You're reviews are awesome and obviously inspiring.**_

_** What was chapter 3 is now chapter 5. And what was 12 very short chapters is now at least 14 with some a little longer like this one, but who knows. :)**_

_**Hope you enjoy!  
**_

* * *

She'd brought down evidence as he'd asked, since she was on her way home anyway, then she simply stepped into observation and stayed. It was more out of habit then out of anything else, but she found herself observing—not the case, but Danny himself.

He was healing. He seemed a little older, a little wiser. He wasn't as jumpy, but he was a little less confident. It didn't come across in the interrogation room, it was just what she'd noticed. And it wasn't that he wasn't confident, beyond their uneasy truce, it just that he wasn't on the edge anymore.

But he wasn't happy. And despite everything, she missed that playful side of Danny. She missed her friend, and despite the fact that she was testing the waters of a new relationship, she couldn't help but want ... resolution. It was resolution, wasn't it? Maybe it was time that she let him say what he thought he needed to say now.

_Now._

She closed her eyes on a sigh. It had taken him months to turn to her, but how long was that really? How could she fault him, when he'd stood by her when she'd shut down for months, _ten years_ after the trauma she experienced?

She didn't have plans for tonight. Brian was out of town, and she was a little restless. Plus, he'd kind of pushed her to take this step. Maybe she would stick around for a little while, see if things could work out. Maybe they could grab a coffee, take a walk. Maybe take a few steps to where they'd been at first... before they'd let themselves take the leap into a relationship.

Still, Lindsay stayed a little longer than she planned. The interrogation was interesting enough, watching Danny and Flack tag team the rich kid they'd all helped track.

She watched as Danny left the room, leaving Flack behind to finish up. She stepped out, leaned against the door. "I have to see my father and his people?" she repeated the suspect's exact words. "Sounds a little like the godfather."

Danny grinned, and she saw him thinking it out, "_I have to see my father and his people ..._" he sighed. "_So have dinner without me. _That's the line ... but it's, I guess for a different time."

"Yeah," she adjusted her coat over her arm. Once upon a time, she would have thrown out the rest of the conversations ..._This weekend we'll go out. We'll go to the city, see a show and have dinner, I promise_.

But not now. Still.

"Maybe it's time we had that talk. Not over dinner—" she said, "I'm not trying to take away from things with Brian. But maybe we should say the things we need to say?"

He considered her words, finally nodded. "You got a place in mind?"

"There's always coffee."

"Yeah ..." he frowned, considered it for awhile before lifting those blue eyes back up to meet hers. She saw the unease, and a little fear. "Why don't we go back to the beginning?"

"One of my favorite places."

He laughed. "No its not."

"It wasn't just the place I met you. It was the place I met New York."

There wasn't a lot she had to say. So she let him talk, the way she knew he needed to have talked when Reuban was killed. And he hadn't been able to ...

But neither had she, not when she'd gone into her dark place.

So she did a lot of listening. He talked of the times he'd had with Reuben, some of which she'd already heard. Reuben was his baseball buddy, the kid brother he'd always wished he'd been for Louie, in some ways.

It wasn't like they'd been overly close. To some degree, even on that day, he'd just been a kid down the hall. Danny worked a lot of nights, had a crazy job. Sometimes he just needed to sit down for a few laughs and relax. Up until the few months leading up to Reuben's death, he'd backed away from it.

Then things had changed. Something in him had changed. If it was because of her, he didn't say so, but he seemed to say it. But she wasn't sure why. All she knew was it was something she had seen change in Danny. He had started to let himself take on a little more responsibility. He had put out more effort into the people around him.

Including his neighbor. Lindsay shook herself, told herself not to go there.

And then Reuben had been killed. Someone's child, someone's hope. Someone who had given him responsibility.

And, in Danny's words, it was just dark.

_Black_.

Yes, it was a place she'd known. A place she'd recovered from most recently because she'd had him. And she'd had her family, ten years to have passed. Therapy. A job that helped her refocus.

He was only a child, the light of his mother's life, and mother and child had been so close. She'd doted on him, spoiled him, but he'd been ... her boy. So Danny thought only of Reuben, of the fact that he'd been responsible. For once, he was going to be responsible. It wasn't that he thought of Ruben's mother necessarily, even when they used each other. And knowing so, hearing it finally from him, cut into her.

They sat side by side on a bench at the Bronx Zoo, where they'd walked to as he talked. Side by side, she listened, like a confessional. She was on his right. They didn't look at each other. She couldn't look at him, not until ...

"You said you'd fallen in love with me ..." he struggled over it, even now. "It ripped into me Lindsay, and as much as I thought I hurt, I didn't. I'd been numb, numb to everything and the world around me, numb to the idea that I was hurting you and hurting myself. And then I couldn't help but feel. It was so much. Too much. I was going to take responsibility. He was my responsibility. And I didn't think ... but you said ..."

She looked away, lest he see.

"I missed your birthday, but I ... I didn't feel anything, Linds. I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of knowingly doing the things I did."

Across from them, the tiger stretched. Same tiger, she thought. A girl. Norma was her name. _Panthera tigris_. Lindsay had been to the tiger exhibit and the Bronx zoo one other time with Danny, while his hand was healing, but things had been so new between them in the relationship area, she'd resisted a bit detailing her wealth of knowledge of the tiger. She'd studied up on them of course, and had visited Tiger Mountain at the Bronx Zoo dozens of times on her own. It had been her first case in New York, so fascinating it could make her less homesick just to come visit. She felt like she had something special she shared with Norma. After all, she'd dug through the old girl's poop.

Which reminded her.

"You never said you were sorry." She looked over at him, saw the surprise in his eyes.

"I said—"

"You said you were sorry for pushing me away, not for missing my birthday or for hurting me, or for ... the rest," she swallowed. "It's entirely different. You couldn't make it up to me, I get that. But it hurt more that you didn't _want_ to."

She stood. If anything, she'd already made her decision. She was through.

"Linds—"

She turned around, saw the uncertainty—she'd held her ground against it before. But now...

"I'm sorry. I am sorry, for hurting you. For forgetting you," he took a step forward, toward her, "for not fighting ... enough to reach for you. Because I should have. I know that now. And I know its too late. I know I don't have the words ... but I do feel it."

Frozen to the spot, she could only watch him take the second step, bringing him back into her personal space. She looked up at him, feeling a little lost. And she thought of Norma, the tiger, who'd been tranquilized on that first day. Her eyes blinking open, dazed and confused. Disoriented, a little afraid.

And her heart couldn't help but ... _remember_.

"I'm sorry for fighting against you, instead of letting you ... help. You just wanted to help," he reached up, started to reach for her, then stopped himself. His hand slowly closed into a fist, then he dropped it to his side. "I stood in my own way. I'm sorry ... I am sorry. I wish I had the kind of words you need. You're just ... you're the kind of girl ... I want to ..."

She swallowed again, but her throat was parched. She didn't have the words, she didn't have a thought.

"I don't have the words to say what I feel. I want to be able to ..." he held up his hands, held them out. "I can ... I think I can."

She looked away, made herself think of Brian. He'd helped her laugh when she'd thought she'd been too tired to do so. He'd helped her to experience other parts of New York, so she didn't close herself off to the only side she'd thought she'd wanted.

And he'd shown her that she could be the kind of girl to love a bold and crazy flower arrangement...

In a different way then the way she felt when she'd received a flower from Danny. She wasn't ... that simple. It could work with someone else, if she let it.

She looked back, tried for a smile. "He's a good man, Danny. I really want this chance."

He nodded, took another step back.

"Thank you," she said, though the words felt dry. "You didn't have to open up. Not this way."

As she turned away, he stopped her with a gentle touch to her arm. She glanced back, saw the certainty in his eyes.

He was more her Danny now than he'd been for months.

"Yeah ..." he attempted a smile, juggled it before it slipped, "I did."

And she thought of the look in his eyes all the way home ... and wondered what he would say, if he ever figured out what it was that he should say. _"You're ..."_ what?

_"I can ..."_

_Do what? Didn't he know he didn't need to do anything?_

* * *

Is this how I really picture this? I don't know. I don't know that Danny would have gotten all of this out in one shot, but I've been thinking a lot about Lindsay and why she took him back. That really starts to come out (the reasoning, not necessarily the taking back) in the next chapter. And don't worry. LOTS more angst ahead. But this might be in the middle. You see, I probably wouldn't have taken Danny back, at least not in the way it came across, but I'm not Lindsay. I haven't been through the dark place she had ... and I definitely think, in the end, she did see Danny come out different and that she was willing to try and trust him again because she knows that darkness as ... at least I can't.

And 2 ... you know me and trying to keep things in the possibilities of canon. I hadn't intended them to have this conversation, because I didn't think they'd really had it because of the one clue we get in the box. But then I listened to Danny's words in the box again. The order he tells it simply says he thought she'd known, even when he hadn't said anything. Then a couple months later they got back together. But he doesn't say he didn't tell her ... and it almost seems like it could be that he's remembering when he told her and that she'd seemed to know.

By the way, Norma is the only name for any tiger that I found at the Bronx zoo. I think I should visit the Bronx zoo.


	5. Worth

**Instead of leaving you with three separate cliff hangers, I combined a few short chapters as my chapter numbers had gotten out of hand ... and my estimations in the last chapter were wrong anyway. I'm a little nervous about this chapter, because I've tried to put myself in Lindsay's mind as I talked about in the end note of the last chapter. Let me know what you think ... :)**

* * *

Chapter 5: Worth

As the taxi pulled up to the address, Lindsay hesitated to get out of the cab. She looked over at Brian and gave him a soft smile.

"It's not working, is it?" he asked.

"No."

"He's not worth it, you know."

Lindsay shook her head, even as she thought about how Danny had been the last few weeks. He gave her space and let her have a relationship with someone else. He was distant, because it was awkward between them.

And he was sad, in a different way than he had been before.

_I didn't feel anything, Linds. I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of knowingly doing the things I did..._

It was so hard to be there, around him, when he was sad.

_You said you'd fallen in love with me ... it ripped into me Lindsay, and as much as I thought I hurt, I didn't. I'd been numb, numb to everything and the world around me, numb to the idea that I was hurting you and hurting myself. And then I couldn't help but feel. It was so much. Too much._

It was hard because she knew that he knew the consequences of his actions, and she knew that he took responsibility for them because he gave her space. He hadn't pressed her, and she'd known that he wanted to do so. She wondered what it would be like to give Danny permission to show her how he really felt... not that he would ever be the obvious suitor, but she didn't want obvious. She wanted the simplicity and complexity that was Danny... she wanted to see what he would do for her.

And he wouldn't, as long as he couldn't.

She just wasn't sure if she was really ready for it.

"He is worth it, if we can work it out. It was a bad situation, one that nobody should go through. He got lost, and maybe it had been too easy with us. Maybe we didn't have the foundation we needed before ..." she shrugged. "And maybe he didn't think to trust in me because I didn't think I could trust in him. I don't know. I'm not saying it was right or he wasn't in the wrong, or that I was wrong, just that it was complicated."

"And it was suffocating and unfair," Brian reminded her. "He hurt you and refused to acknowledge it. He treated you like crap, Lindsay."

"But knowing that just isn't enough."

"Do you know what is?"

She smiled a little in self-depreciation, "I suppose when I can be around him and not have to feel like I need to be someone else for him."

_Or be with him and know he might be nothing more than my Nathan Detroit, never settling down really because settling down wasn't what made her to him what he needed._

"Well, until then, we could keep up this charade. Keep trying to find our own ground."

"That's not fair to you. To either of you," she reached out, placed a hand on his arm. "Thank you, Brian, because despite the way I feel, I still feel in part ... he is a good man, you are both good men."

She leaned over, pressed a kiss to his cheek, then turned to get out of the taxi, pulling her case along with her. As she got out, she saw Danny and Hawkes at the perifory of the building. "Here goes nothing."

"Wait, Lindsay—" Brian slid out of the car and stood with her on the sidewalk. "How 'bout one last kiss? One chance to show him what he missed?"

She shook her head and laughed. "Are you taking advantage of me now, Mr. Duranski?"

"Why not? We've had some good times. And you've been so polite until now," he shrugged. "Or think of it as one more chance for me to prove to you that I'm your guy."

She laughed, and couldn't help but think that she deserved one chance as well. Though she was technically not in a relationship with Danny anymore, she wasn't cheating on anyone to kiss him. So maybe it was wrong, maybe it was justice.

And maybe she had been too nice to keep the lines of the relationship with Brian away from Danny. He didn't need to know, her decision. It wasn't that she was breaking up with Brian to get back together with him. She was just acknowledging that she wanted the possible future with Danny—however long it may be—_more_ than she wanted what she had with Brian.

So she pushed up on her toes—far up, as Brian had some height on him—and kissed him. It was still nice. Simply nice. It wasn't magical. It wasn't bright. She didn't feel like she'd come home.

It felt like that kiss at the end of prom. More than one you gave after a bad night, just because, but not one you told your best friend about.

But in the back of her mind, she hoped he saw. She hoped they made a spectical, just this once. It was her last chance.

So she gave the kiss, the bad kiss with the great guy, her all.

And he did the same.

But even as she kissed someone else, she thought about another. She thought ... and she slowly backed away. She wasn't this kind of girl.

**.ny.**

Danny cursed and walked into the court yard. He'd been standing there with Hawkes, waiting for Lindsay. It was one thing to punish himself and make him watch her with someone else.

But he couldn't watch her with someone else like that.

So instead of heading toward them, breaking them apart, and planting his fist into the guys pretty boy face, he turned inside and walked away.

"She deserves the chance to be happy."

He glanced up as Hawkes stepped beside the body.

"You don't think I know that?"

He shrugged. "He's a good guy."

"Yeah."

_Everyone_ had made a point in telling him that. Did they think it made him feel better?

And did he want the guy to be an absolute creep? Danny sighed, because Hawkes was right. She did deserve the chance to be happy. Most of the last two years had been crappy for her, after all. He'd shut her out, closed the door on her, missed her birthday. He'd brushed her off. Maybe he'd even intentionally dimmed her smile.

Had he? He wondered.

He missed her smile. He missed her.

**.ny.**

"Nothing?"

Lindsay laughed. "Of course not. And I shouldn't have done it, because in the end, Danny is a good man, and even though he went way too far under, it was that goodness that ended up sending him there..." she reached up and wiped her lips with the back of her hand before she realized what she was doing. "I'm sorry."

"I hope it works out."

"Eventually. If its supposed to."

She turned with her kit and walked toward the court yard. She couldn't yet—even though she knew she still loved Danny—commit to anything with him. She wasn't ready.

But even as she thought about it, and felt bad for the blatant kiss that would have made one of her grandmothers applaud and the other frown, she heard the taxi door close. As it pulled away from the side and drove past, she looked, then lifted her hand in a parting wave as Brian did the same.

Why couldn't things be so simple? Why couldn't her heart have chosen him?

Because they had been simple. It had been so easy to fall for Danny Messer. And some things were still simple between them.

Just not this ...

* * *

**In my mind, if Danny pressed her with "making it better" and "getting her back" kind of moves when she was with someone else, he wouldn't be taking responsibility for the situation. So, I've held off a lot on some of the things you want to see. So ...? What are your thoughts? Let me know...**


	6. Awkward Steps

Lindsay found Hawkes and Danny inside the courtyard standing over a corpse. Even from 30 or so feet away it was clear their dead guy had been beaten before death. That much was simple. It was the cracked cobblestone around him that was complicated.

She nodded at the officer and dipped under the yellow crime scene tape as he held it up for her.

Hawkes nodded as she stepped carefully over the crumbling tile. "Nice dress."

"Yeah," she looked down at the black, knee length cocktail dress and was taken back more than two years—had it really been so long—to when she'd made her way down the subway track, in a different dress, at a different time in her life.

And how Danny had looked at her then.

It wasn't even close to the look on his face now.

That, she knew, was her fault. She could blame him for a lot of things, but the kiss had been her choice. She wondered how she would have felt if she'd really fallen for Brian, if she'd really hoped for more with him. Maybe then she would have felt anger at the simmering temper in Danny's eyes, but she couldn't.

Because he was a good man, as she'd told Brian. She'd seen so much sadness in him, the last few months.

But only now, with that intentional kiss, had he shown her any intensity like this. It was clear suddenly, how much he was holding back from her.

"Glad you could make it."

Even more so from his voice. There was bitterness there, but she ignored it and pulled out her gloves. It was a warm summer evening, so after taking out her tools, she draped the simple shaw over her case. It left her shoulders bare, save the thin spaghetti straps that crossed in the back.

And yeah, there was part of her that did it on purpose, that wanted him to see her like this.

Because she'd really wanted to enjoy this evening. She'd really wanted to know she could dress up and enjoy a carefree outing in New York.

But in the end, it was Danny that she'd wanted to see her in the dress. It was for Danny that she'd wished she could dress.

"My feet are killing me," she told Hawkes as she knelt down beside him. Danny moved around the periphery, snapping photos.

"Should have dressed for a crime scene," Hawkes said.

"Should have. Didn't. A girl has the right to want to be a little vain when she goes to a business party. And I was only on call—after Danny, so chances were I was going to have a long evening to myself."

"You weren't by yourself."

"No—but that doesn't mean it wasn't going to end up that way. Especially after a night in these shoes."

Hawkes smiled a little and motioned her to photograph as he shifted the corpse. "Didn't enjoy yourself?"

"After the day we had?" she shook her head as she lowered the camera. "But I wanted, to. Can't a girl want to be a girl sometimes? Want to dress up and go somewhere new, somewhere nice?"

"Sure."

Lindsay laughed, "so diplomatic."

"Something I picked up along the way. You didn't enjoy yourself?"

She spared a glanced over at Danny. He'd turned away, was photographing along the edge of the courtyard, along an area of broken cobblestone steps.

No, she hadn't really enjoyed herself because she hadn't wanted Brian. And for every moment, she'd felt weary. She preferred the more common places, the relaxed atmosphere, the laughter, the banter, more bright on the inside than without. In a way, she was just as uncomfortable with Brian as she was right now with Danny.

"Lindsay," Hawkes dropped his voice. "He saw you kiss him."

Lindsay lowered her eyes and sighed. "I know."

"It was a low shot, being on the clock and all, even if it was after hours."

Lindsay looked back up, her eyes troubled. "I know, but ..." she shrugged. "It's over."

"Doesn't mean you would normally hurt him. Not that you don't have the right or the responsibility to show him. But its not _you._"

"No—it's over. With me and Brian."

Hawkes frowned. "You're sure? That didn't look like a goodbye kiss."

"Yeah. A last chance, maybe to prove to me that it wouldn't work and maybe to show Danny that it could."

"Then ..."

"Then ... I'm going to wait and just ... wait," she shrugged. "I'm not ready to let him back in, Hawkes. When I'm with Danny now, I can't help but want to try so hard to be something. Before ... it was so natural."

And in the midst of the trial and dealing with her past, on the edges of the beginning of their relationship, that was the one thing she had treasured. For too long in her life she'd fought hard to be someone else.

Hawks frowned and glanced over to watch Danny. Lindsay knew that Hawkes wasn't necessarily rooting for Danny. But it didn't mean that he wanted anyone to hurt.

"We'll be okay," she reached out, touched his hand. "I think we'll both find our way. Maybe we both know what we want now. And if we both know for sure that we _know_, its stronger, isn't it? It just feels like it could be so much more than it ever was before ..."

"Doesn't sound like someone who's not ready ..."

Lindsay smiled sadly, and looked over at Danny. "There's a difference between being ready to hope and being ready to leap. I just can't leap."

"Not in those shoes."

As she laughed, Lindsay reached across and gave Hawkes hand a good squeeze.

* * *

_**Some of this was filler, some of it isn't, but I really wanted to explore the relationship through Hawkes' eyes and friendship with Lindsay. Up next, Danny's thoughts ... unless I change my mind. lol**_


	7. It Just Hurts Sometimes

Thanks so much for the reviews :) ... this part was originally chapter 3, so that's how far you guys and your support has brought this story. It's been a long long week, so I'm sorry its taken this long to get this part up. Have a great weekend!

* * *

**It Just Hurts Sometimes**

After they processed the body, Lindsay worked with Danny to gather evidence. He'd calmed somewhat, but said very little. Still, it showed that there were possibilities simply because they did work well together.

Without even talking.

So she nearly told him. The words nearly spilled out. _I broke up with Brian tonight._

But she didn't. Not because she didn't want to, but because she knew she would be saying them to Danny the friend, not Danny the man she loved.

Still loved. She reached up, wiped her lips as if to wipe away that last kiss that suddenly felt like so much of a betrayal. She shouldn't have done it.

It was the friendship she felt she had betrayed. If only she could see him as the boyfriend who had walked away ...

As they finished collecting the evidence on one end, Danny handed her the bags. "You look tired. Why don't you take these in, find some comfortable shoes? Hawkes and I got the rest."

"But—" she glanced over at Hawkes. He waved her on.

"You've been stumbling over your own feet all night," Danny murmured.

"It's the stones," she murmured as took the keys he handed her. _She could wear heels. She was a girl_.

She glanced at Danny, found him staring at her shoes. Or her legs. He was lost deep in thought, and she couldn't break it.

_Remember this, Messer. Remember what this looks like_.

_Because I don't think I'll do this to myself again._

She would at least, next time, have a spare pair of shoes in her kit.

But the look in his eyes made her smile just a little.

_Unless you make it worth my while._

**.ny.**

He should have taken her dancing. Not to a club, nothing fancy. But there were little hole in the wall joints that played jazz, the classics, those songs from years gone by. Darker than Cozy's, there would be smoke wafting through the air, even with the no smoking laws.

After a long day, she needed a place to simply relax and unwind, to share quiet moments, private jokes, and a good strong laugh. They both did.

He _missed_ that.

But there were places, that weren't flashy and big that they could have gone. She could have worn those shoes, with long, long legs. And he could have held her in his arms and simply rocked back and forth. Thinking of nothing but that moment.

With no hurry.

And then she was gone.

He glanced up as she ducked under the tape and headed toward the Avalanche he'd brought. She popped the tailgate and leaned in, adjusting some pipes they'd loaded earlier. And in leaning, she distracted him. He didn't have a right to look at how the neckline played over her chest.

But he did. So he didn't see.

Neither the man in black.

Nor his intent.

Not until she was spun around, and shoved back. The long metal pipe came back, lashed forward. It took her breath as it slammed into her.

"Hey!" Danny ran even as she gasped, his weapon drawn, unable to get a clear shot. She'd jumped back up, gone after the evidence and grabbed it, holding on.

_Montana_. _Let go._

And she was knocked back again, knocked around, pushed back beyond his line of sight. The perp dropped down. The pipe swung again, then again, the sound of contact, sickening.

"_Danny_."

He heard the soft cry, the pain in her voice. His vision blurred.

The perp went one way.

Danny went the other.

* * *

_**So ... mwa ha ha. :p** Would love to hear your thoughts. More coming, maybe more than originally planned because of all of the Danny needs to do something suggestions ... well, obviously he needs to do something _now :p_ ... or maybe it's just one more chapter. Maybe this is very close to the end. Lindsay's end. Just kidding._


	8. Broken

Sorry about the length of time to update. I had hoped these would come faster, but to be honest, I watched two hours of television last week, and both were partly with me catching up to real time with the DVR. In other words, sometimes real life needs to slow down. :) So you can thank the heating and air guy for running late as I can't do what I need to do for real life until he gets here ;).

* * *

Chapter 8:

Danny forgot about the evidence, the perp with the pipe and he went to her. To her side.

She lay there, eyes closed. Like sleeping beauty. Her face showed the signs of being battered. A cut ran along her forehead. A small cut ran just inside her lip.

She didn't move.

"Ha—" the sound came out hoarse. "Hawkes!"

If the former surgeon hadn't already been there, he would have missed it.

Danny reached out, felt around her neck. Found a pulse. "Lindsay. Come on, baby. Open those eyes."

"Danny," Hawkes knelt down across from him. Around them, the city kept moving.

"I called it in," Hawkes looked at him. "Danny, I need you with me mentally. I'll take care of her. Check the evidence. He grabbed something man. Check the evidence."

"Who—" He couldn't take his eyes off of Lindsay.

"Danny, let me take care of her," Hawkes' attention was on Lindsay. "Trust me."

But instead, Danny simply took her head and felt his heart pound into his ears. He watched the blood seep from the nasty gash on her forehead, just under her hairline. Her eyes were closed.

"Stay with me, Montana," he murmured. He thought about all the moments they'd had, all the moments she'd looked at him, with laughter in her eyes. She brought out so much in him.

And a part of him, that he didn't even know was hurting, slowly began to heal, while another part of him broke. He could lose her. He could really lose her this time.

There were promises he needed to make to her, and so many things he needed to do before those promises.

And there was a man in between them.

But for the moment, he didn't have to share, so he stayed there.

With her.


	9. Bruised

**Sorry it took so long. Really, I should be working on my novel for Nano, but this seemed a bit easier. I'm so far behind on my wordcount for that right now. But you're not here for that! Here's chapter 9. A little fun ... well, for some of you. XD (PS ... and thanks to **afrozenheart412 **for noticing in this chapter that's I'd missed where I'd made a change last chapter. Oops-and great eye/memory/review! All fixed here now... I _hope!_)**

* * *

Chapter 9: Bruised

Despite the amount of time he'd spent in one, Danny hated hospitals. He didn't know who liked them, or why people preferred them as a place to work. They were too white, too quiet, too clutter, to stagnant and sometimes too busy.

He would prefer the morgue any day. The darkness. The certainty.

People pretty much had a one hundred percent chance of coming out of the morgue as the mortician wanted.

Sid sure loved his job, and Danny found some comfort in that.

But today—he thought, with fresh panic as he sat alone and looked toward the still form that lay on the bed. If it were between the two, he would prefer to be here, with her. She was alive, and as long as she was alive, there was a chance.

The doctors were through with her for now. They said she'd woken up briefly while they attended to her, that she'd talked to them and that she'd been lucid until the medication took effect, but he wasn't sure he believed them. The bruises on her face, on her arms and neck were very real. He still could see the man with the pipe. Maybe it had been the drugs, maybe it had made his hands unsteady, but her injuries were not what they could have been-what they should have been. What the doctors said didn't go with what he saw-what he _knew_ he'd seen. They said she'd be fine, but he hadn't seen her wake up. He hadn't seen those rich brown eyes look at him.

_Come on_, _Montana._ _I can't lose you. Not like this._

As he sat there, he thought of a thousand memories he should enjoy. He thought of a thousand smiles from the very first ...

_I'm Lindsay Monroe._

He thought of every kiss, every laugh, every cuddle, every smirk.

He thought of her, and for a moment more, nothing else but her.

.ny.

Outside the room, Hawkes stood with Flack. The detective had come in after they found the man who'd attacked Lindsay with a pipe. Not only had they caught him on via a number of surveillance cameras, but someone from the accident had known his name. He thought by grabbing the case he would have all the evidence.

For once their murderer hadn't blending into the faceless beings in a moving city.

Of course, being high on something probably hadn't helped this murderer make the wisest choice.

With the perp in holding and coming down from said high, Flack concentrated on his friends. While Hawkes brought him up to date, he watched Danny through the window of the room. He sat at Lindsay's side, her hand in his. It gave him an ache and a hope. If Messer could fall, and find something that meant something, then that opened the world for the rest of them.

Maybe with Jessica, or maybe someone somewhere else. But maybe.

At least Lindsay was going to be okay. In fact, she was just sleeping off the drugs they'd given her to help with the bruises. Still, the look on Danny's face...

"You sure about that?" Flack asked when Hawkes assured him for a second time that all Lindsay had was some bruising.

Hawkes jerked back and glared at him, only half playing. "I'm a doctor, man. If you'd like me to examine her yourself, I can, but I promise my hearing is just fine. The doctor's said-"

"I don't doubt you're hearing, Doc. It's just that," Flack waved a hand toward the room where Danny sat with Lindsay. "Danny shouldn't be taking this so hard over some bruising. Granted, it's a lot of bruising and she's not looking so good, but he's ... taking it hard."

"Danny's hearing's at about 75% capacity right now."

Flack chuckled. "What else is new?" He shook his head, watching as Danny lifted her hand, kissed her fingertips, and he laughed out right. "He's so gone over her."

Don couldn't hide the laughter from his voice, nor the grin from his face. Things, he thought, might have finally balanced themselves out. The rough patch might just be smoothed over.

He might actually get a date night instead of having to babysit a despondent Danny over a game of basketball.

"He told me he loved her a few weeks back. Never thought I'd hear that one from him, well, until she showed up."

"Guess we'll be seeing a different Messer," Hawkes tucked his hands in his pockets. "A married Messer. Kind of has a nice ring to it. If it settles him down."

"Whoa, man," Flack laughed again. "He said he loved her, he didn't use the _M_ word. I doubt that word's even crossed his mind."

"Then where does he think Lindsay's going to see love and forever?"

"I don't know. Just with him?" Flack slapped Hawkes on the back. "Not all of us think past today, man."

"That's just ... _trouble_." Hawkes nodded toward the door and the man who had just walked up to Lindsay's room.

Flack sighed. He'd kind of half wondered if one of them should call Brian and let him know, but he hadn't actually followed up on it. It seemed wrong to bring in the other guy, when nobody really wanted anyone but Danny there by her side.

"I wondered who called him."

"I did," Danny said as he stopped and looked back toward the room.

* * *

_**Um... dun dun dun. XD So... what do you think? I ask only because it's your thoughts that have turned this shorter story I had almost complete and stretched it to be a bit more. Who knows what might happen next. I think I know. And I think I've got the next part. But... :) have a great Thanksgiving. Maybe you'll get another update soon!**_


	10. Fight

Danny looked back toward her room, looked through the window and watched as Brian walked over and stood at Lindsay's bed side. Even from here, she looked bruised and battered. It took something to step away. It took even more to stay there. Until he could earn back her trust, until he could win her back, it was only fair to support her decision.

"You called Brian?" Flack asked.

Danny shrugged, but when he spoke, his voice was dull, remote. "I left a message, told him she was sleeping and she was fine, but that she was here. Repeated all the stuff the doctor's said."

"Danny," he pushed his friend slightly on the shoulder. "You were the one who called Brian?"

"What else should I have done?" He looked through the window again. "If he's who she chose, then it's going to make her better faster if he's here."

Flack simply shook his head.

"Actually—" Hawkes started, but Danny turned on him.

"I don't need some medical explanation of what's really going to make her better, Doc. I just want to do the right thing here."

"Excuse me."

All three of them turned to find Brian standing before them. Danny's fists balled at his side. Sure, he'd called the guy, and told him all those details. He'd given up his seat in the room beside Lindsay.

But that didn't mean he'd forgotten the scene at the crime scene tonight, as Lindsay kissed him. Chose him.

"You guys sure she's going to be all right?"

"Yes," Hawkes said and automatically repeated the information he'd been telling everyone all night. Danny heard most of it through a dim tunnel. He was looking back in the room, watching Lindsay. She was so still. She was never that still.

Even when she slept.

"Thanks, then. Since's she's okay, I'm going to head on out."

"You're what?" Danny turned on him. "She was in a serious accident. She'll want you here."

"Actually—"

Danny shoved him back. It was automatic, instinctive. She was his, and had been his forever. He'd lost her, he'd done it to himself, but that didn't change the ache or the need or the urge. If she wanted this guy, then he was going to make sure.

Flack and Hawkes took his arms, held him back. "Danny—"

"Hey—I know what you're thinking—" Brian held up his hands and took a step back when Danny narrowed his eyes.

"We're thinking you're not planning to stick around when the going gets tough?" Flack asked, acid on his tongue.

"What?" Brian asked. "Like him?"

Danny jerked forward, and felt his friends grapple with their hold. He really, really wanted this guy.

"Look—" Brian took a step back, and held out his hands. "We're not together. Not anymore. It's not me she wants in there."

_Then who does she want?_

"Look—its not fair for me to say anything else," Brian told them. "It's her choice. She's an amazing woman, but even while we were together I knew I was more of a shield. Whatever we could have had, we've already ended."

"She'll say that?"

"Unless she forgets tonight. And really, we'd had the conversation before."

"You two were kissing tonight," Danny pointed out.

"Well that?" He shrugged sheepishly. "That was my idea. Don't even ask her to explain. Just know that she's ... working through some things."

_Working through some things._

Danny shook his head as the man walked away. Lindsay's man. Lindsay's _choice_.

Unless...

_Unless, what?_

"Are we just supposed to believe him?"

"What does it matter if we don't?" Flack asked.

"Then we go beat the crap out of him."

"Actually, I think he's telling the truth." They both looked at Hawkes. "Lindsay mentioned something or other about it. But I still think you need to wait to hear it from her. Just give her time, Danny. And if you're going to go through with this, make sure you do what's right."

"I never meant to hurt her."

"I know you didn't."

But the words didn't come from Flack or Hawkes.

The words came from Lindsay _herself_.


	11. Stitches

I don't know what to say ... you do realize, of course, that this chapter was mostly written months ago XD, but because you guys had such great reviews it just extended itself? I hope you enjoyed the additions.

* * *

She couldn't get it out of her head, not at all, the look on Danny's face as he'd defended her honor or her or whatever it had been.

"You shouldn't have gotten out of bed," Danny said again as he helped settle the sheets around her. His hands were gentle, his eyes everywhere but looking at hers.

"I saw Brian leave," she murmured, and felt the stiches pull on the edge of her jaw. She didn't bother to add that she'd watched Danny leave first, watched him walk out of her room and toward Brian.

Leaving her because he thought it was what she wanted. It made her sad and guilty. She shouldn't have kissed Brian earlier. Playing that game, it just made no sense now. Danny was hers, he'd lashed out at the world deeply hurt wounded and drowning on his own. He hadn't wanted her then.

No, she thought, he hadn't let himself have what he wanted.

And yet, there was more to him than that. She watched him still, willed him to look at her.

He didn't.

"Actually," she amended, "what I saw was you putting your hands on him."

He lifted his eyes, but not toward hers. "I didn't hit him."

She let out a small laugh even though it hurt. Her fingers grasped to the sheet he'd all but tucked around her. "I suppose it depends on your definition of hit," she reached out, took his hand and waited-tugged a little, just enough to finally bring his eyes to heres. "You didn't make a move before. You didn't move between us."

"He didn't walk out on you before," Danny looked down at her hand. She simply held his, as she had that day in Montana. "Did you want me too?"

"Of course not. But I was afraid you would and I warned him as much."

"I've got more control than that."

"Sometimes."

"He said—" Danny frowned, finally looked back at her, but hesitated. "He had to leave."

"Danny, I'm not going to lie to you or stretch this out. We broke up. Maybe we broke up a long time ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

He let out a laugh. "If it hurts you, yeah. I guess it'd be on me, too."

"I suppose I was the one that hurt him, but we weren't ever that serious. He said he'd stick around with me, give me a chance to fall for him, but it never happened."

"So what was that kiss about?"

"All the wrong things, Danny," she squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry for that. It was a cheap shot."

"So," without letting go of her hand, he reached back, pulled the chair close again, and sat down. "Where does that leave ..."

"Us?"

"Is there an _us?_"

"I don't think there ever wasn't," she said. "But I'm not ready for serious."

"How about a date? We could go out to a few places. Dinner, a little dancing. Some place quiet and simple, _uncrowded_."

"There are uncrowded places in New York?"

"Not every place is trendy."

"You never took me dancing before."

"Didn't think about it. But I thought about it tonight. You got another pair of shoes like those?"

"Shoes like—" she frowned. "What happened to my shoes?"

"How would I know?"

"You were there."

"I was worried about more important things."

For a moment, he looked like he was about to say more. When he didn't, Lindsay leaned back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling, letting out a long sigh. "Those were $400 Jimmy Chus."

"Who has $400 shoes for any reason?"

"Stella, for one. And she's who convinced me to throw all that money at those shoes," she turned and smiled. "But they were great shoes. Even you thought so."

"For $400? I don't know."

"Danny," Lindsay tightened her grip around his. "Who has a pool table crammed into his New York apartment."

"It's not the same thing."

She only smiled, or tried to. "I'm glad to have you back."

"Me to. So much more than you can ever know."

"Even with this face?"

"Hey," he reached forward and carefully ran a finger down her nose, studying the bruises. "I love this face. You should have let go"

She knew he was talking about the evidence, but instinct had her hands closing around it and holding on. But as she looked at him, she didn't see her attacker or feel the pain, she simply felt relieved. This was Danny, _her_ Danny.

"I couldn't."

His hand tightened around hers. "You should have," he said, his voice deep.

She kept her eyes on his, slowly shook her head. It didn't take much, a slight tug of his hand, and he slid up on the bed beside her, carefully wrapped her up against himself and held on.

.ny.

As he lay there with her, as he felt her against him, he felt something settle inside, the last wedge move, and his heart that had been so long ripped into two, slowly came back and settled together. He watched her as she slid back into sleep, and wondered if she knew how much of a gift she had given him.

"I love you," he whispered, and heard the tremble of his own words in the still hospital air. "And one day, when you're ready, I'm going to tell you."

And in the quiet of the hospital room, he remembered, remembered how it had felt to say those words, and wished for the day he could say them for real.

* * *

_**And that, fair and awesome readers, is the end. Not the end of Danny and Lindsay's story of course, but the end of this interlude that takes us from Personal Foul to somewhere before Dead Inside, I think. So next stop, you should think, is the Box ... thanks for reading!**_


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